u noe, there are times when in your walk with God he seems to be so silent, like
he isn't there and isn't listening to you. oftentimes, this happens when your
life is getting messy... but u noe, God does this so that
you will seek him, harder than ever before! so that you will learn to trust him
and lean on him at times like this when you are not strong, and to lean on him
even when things are going your way (: no idea why i'm posting this, just
felt like it (: and its been too long since i've blogged about anything
meaningful aka my walk with God/what we've talked about. haha. so there (:
I like people and like them to like me, but I wear my heart where God put it -- on the inside.Above all powers, above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began
Above all kingdoms, above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what you're worth
Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all
Above All Hillsong
java and i went church together again today :) guess what? the first song for praise and worship today was I Could Sing of Your Love Forever by Delirious! very funny, cos we + amanda were singing it on friday as we sat outside the canteen and sewed&sewed like lil ol' grannies. anyways, Rev Col Stringer from australia gave a very engaging sermon. the thing that struck me most was when he said God wants us to go from glory to glory and not crisis to glory.
um.. let's see, a couple of thankyous first:i wonder if you know,
i was feeling rather low,
then you sent me that song and i started smiling like crazy yo!
fast&fuLious (driftdriftdrift)
fasst&FEW-LI-OHS (driftdriftdrift)
i'm not running away anymore. from now on, it's running to.:) fast&furious! :}
hoho! veryy busy week :)When difficulties become insurmountable, inevitable, Henry sought surcease in exercise. For three years, swimming had been a sort of refuge and he turned to it as one man to music or another to drink. There was a point when he would resolutely stop thinking and go to the Virginia coast for a week to wash his mind in water. Far out past the breakers he could survey the green-and-brown line of the Old Dominion with the pleasant impersonality of a porpoise. The burden of his wretched marriage fell away with the buoyant tumble of his body among the swells, and he would begin to move in a child's dream of space. Sometimes remembered playmates of his youth swam with him; sometimes, with his two sons beside him, he seemed to be setting off along the bright pathway to the moon.
i could say the same of canoeing.
i am not going to let what you said affect me. you can criticise my every action in the most indirect way possible in front of everyone (and you've been doing it for the longest time, i'm not stupid you know?) and get away with it because everyone thinks you're right. but in my opinion, that's the coward's way out. and despicable. c'mon just tell it to my face, i'm more than happy to thrash everything out with you. who knows? i might just have breakdown in front of you (ha won't you enjoy that?) and you'll find out things are exactly easy for me. you want a spoiler? i could rant on and on about the lack of support from my mum when it comes to canoeing. but you wouldnt understand would you? we're from such different circumstances.
i know you probably think i cant ever be serious about anything and that promise i made.. you think i've already forgotten about it. but yknow what? you're wrong, that' s always on my mind. because it's a promise i made to myself, and along with it, a rededication of my life to God. don't flatter yourself, i did not make the promise because that would be what you want. i made the promise because that is what pleases God.
who made you the model of discipline anyway? and why is it wrong to want to have fun with the people i love? i think that's precisely what's different between you and me, won't you agree? it's all about having (or at least trying to maintain) a trace of humanity, being able to accept and love everyone else and not trying to control them and mould them into 'mini-you's because you need them to achieve the goal you have in mind, knowing that people around you are not there waiting to pounce on you when you are your weakest so that they can steal it from you, knowing that life isn't all about competition, competition, competition..
anyway, what's ur obsession with bringing me down?
or maybe i should ask, WHAT'S YOUR DEEPEST FEAR?
i always found it odd that you can never look me in the eyes when you talk to me. what have you got to hide that may lose others' "respect" for you?
i know i said that referring to others on ur blog in an obscure way is pretentious, but just allow me this one contradiction. and it's for a good reason, trust me.
What came first, the music or the misery? Did I listen to music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to music? Do all those records turn you into a melancholic person? People worry about kids playing with guns, and teenagers watching violent videos; we are scared that some kind of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands -- literally thousands -- of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and loss.***
You can spot the vinyl addicts because after a while they get fed up with the rack they are flicking through, march over to a completely different section of the shop, pull a sleeve out from the middle somewhere, and come over to the counter; this is because they have been making a list of possible purchases in their head ('If I don't find anything in the next five minutes, that blues compilation I saw half an hour ago will have to do'), and suddenly sicken themselves with the amount of time they have wasted looking for something they don't really want. I know that feeling well (these are my people, and I understand them better than I understand anybody in the world): it is a prickly, clammy, panicky sensation, and you go out of the shop reeling. You walk much more quickly afterwards, trying to recapture the part of the day that has escaped, and quite often you have the urge to read the international section of a newspaper, or go to see a Peter Greenaway film, to consume something solid and meaty which will lie on top of the candyfloss worthlessness clogging up your head.
hello hello :)
yep elisa, i took up ur suggestion for the title :)Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter--tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And then one fine morning--
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
dumb dumb dumbdumb! i am owning elisa in terms of lameness! yayyy! what an achievement! :}
i'm happy. yep i'm happy :) at least i'm happy until i'm proven wrong but that's ok, God is Love anyways :)
I
V
yup so that's how the day went.
we talked about lotsa stuff, about the most spontaneous topics, like..
java's weird dream;
how we felt about our classes, how we (or actually more like i) really want to get along with the class but because of training &c, we miss out on all these outings the class has, and as a result we sort of have a hard time relating to them.. and i told her about how i tried, with the bee thing to participate in class stuff but how this girl kinda hurt me when she asked me what i was doing it for? was it because i'm the culture rep? but we both agreed we should still try, and two years is too short, and we will regret if we never made the effort to get to know these people that God has put in your life;
i was thinking about her running out of the house and just parents in general and i asked her about this thot i've had for the longest time: have you ever wondered that yknow, when you get tired of your parents nagging at you and you make a vow to yourself you'll never turn out to be like them, that 30 maybe 40 yrs ago, your parents prolly made the same vow? haha. randomness;
&c&c
it was really nice to talk to java and be sensible for a while :) sometimes i wonder if i joke too excessively, if i'm cheating my friends of getting to know the person i really am.. but as long as i have this thot, i can never become too fake right? and besides, i really love to have fun with my friends :)
i was going to rant about how over-rated it is that people my age think it's the definition of cool if you club or drink before you're legally allowed to but i think that will have to wait. because as you can see i'm kinda jumping all over the place here, which is an amazing feat considering my knees are sore like lemons are sour, and that will make me legally lame, wouldn't it? and also when i'm jumping all over the place and hence am evidently not very awake, i wont be able to present my case properly and will get cyberly shot dead and proclaimed MS P & P, which i would like to think is Pretty and Pleasant, but is really Prim and Proper.
ok SHUT UP.
why do they leave the main gate closed but the side gates open anyways? oh i know! so people like java can admire it in its full majesty.
i'm sorry, i know i'm more bananas than you are. but you know what it's ok, cos i've my own piece of mind and two points for honesty.
Child of God. 12th July 1989. RjcanYeist! 1/2 of Pundits of Pun. TIME Person of the Year 2006 ;) Orange! B&J's Chunky Monkey! Dark chocolates! Sleeping in on rainy days! Attention span of 600 goldfishes.
